EQUAL TIME: The New Way of Living, Loving, and Working Together

The authors of No-Fault Marriage (1976) and Styles of Loving (1980) offer some unremarkable suggestions toward defusing the ""uneasy truce"" of couples caught in gender-role confusion. Areas covered include privacy, sex, flexibility, communication, two-career overload, conflict, trust, and significant others (parents, children, friends). Flexibility is essential, for example, when one partner introduces a radical change (e.g., a longtime housewife determines to go back to school) or when decision-making processes break down: get together to explore the facts, both partners' feelings, and possible alternatives, compromising when necessary. For effective communication, it matters less what's discussed or how often, than how clearly it's communicated and understood. (The usual questionnaires probe your conversational style--controlling, conventional, speculative, or ""contactful."") The processes of interpreting the feeling behind the words are applauded, but not particularly explained. Two-career overload is a particular problem for couples with preschool children; but once the children are in school, the woman who works by choice purportedly has a better marital relationship. Restructuring along the lines of limiting obligations, reducing housework standards, etc., does seem to reduce stress somewhat. Standard fare, smoothly presented.