JEALOUSY

French psychoanalyst Blévis opens her casebooks on ten patients struck by the “hellish wand” of jealousy.

Her lucid vignettes reveal the inner turmoil of such individuals as Simon, a 29-year-old commodities trader whose suspicions of his girlfriend’s infidelity drove him to phone her constantly, and Paula, a woman in her 20s who felt compelled to rifle through her lovers’ pockets and drawers. In each case, Blévis found that the only way to help patients break free from their misery was to shift their perspective from the here and now to the original trauma that underlay the agonizing feeling of jealousy. The analyst must act with “patience, determination, and staying power,” she writes, entering the patient’s world to help sort out the muddle of the past. Simon, for instance, had to recognize that his need to dominate his lover stemmed from his craving for an intimacy denied by his father. Paula could let go of her extreme jealousy toward lovers only after regaining her feminine identity, which she lost in her complex relationship with her mother. Blévis shows how unexpected outbursts and seemingly insignificant details can lead to moments of healing insight for patients. In one instance, an ever-present vase of fresh flowers in the author’s office so troubled a middle-aged financial analyst that he demanded to know who was sending the bouquets. “Had the invasion of a few flowers endangered his life?” Blévis wondered. In time, she found that her patient lacked “the flowers of attention” from a mother who abandoned him in childhood. All of these jealous individuals were cut off from themselves and felt they were surrounded by people with special powers who lived in a different world, she writes. Their jealousy was a survival strategy. Once patients gave up the notion that “rivals” were causing their suffering, they could begin to explore personal issues and find a new capacity to love.

A nuanced look at one of the most painful human emotions.