A graphic, wrenching first-person tale of failed pregnancies. Then busy lawyer (today a professor at Tufts Univ.) Wasserman first conceived at age 34. A large, necrotic fibroid tumor in her womb caused horrendous pain and squeezed the developing fetus. But--as she later learned--the real cause for the premature stillbirth was a rare, inherited metabolic dysfunction called Gaucher's disease. Had her daughter lived, she would have been doomed to a brief, painful existence: retarded, deaf, and dumb. Wasserman and her husband (who also carried the gene) faced a 25% chance that future pregnancies would be jeopardized by this disorder. However, they made a second try that resulted in a clinical abortion, because of an extremely rare condition called oligohydramnios (lack of amniotic fluid), which damages a developing baby's heart, lungs, and kidneys. Her final attempt ended shortly after it began. As a ""blighted ovum,"" the fetal cells simply stopped multiplying before becoming an embryo. At book's end, the reader sighs with relief as Wasserman and her husband adopt a baby girl. Wasserman relates her devastating experiences with almost total recall: her fantasies and fears, the crushing grief that followed each loss, the emotional roller coaster that preceded each decision to try again. She details every medical procedure and her emotional and mental state during them. An evocative, painful chronicle.