HOW TO BE OK

A candid self-help guide offers men a path from feelings of shame to self-acceptance.

Entrepreneur, investor, filmmaker, and motivational speaker Gogolewski draws on his own battles with addiction, divorce, and career upheaval to illustrate that the path to well-being isn’t about quick fixes but about aiming simply to be “OK.” In jargon-free prose, he leads readers through embracing the truth of one’s failures, deciding to change, and cultivating lasting compassion for oneself. Overall, it’s a book about deciding to change after recognizing that “life isn’t meant to be only suffering.” Gogolewski urges readers to use their fears as vehicles for change and to try “facing head-on the terrible facts” about their lives—a vital step, he asserts, toward returning to a healthier mental state. Along the way, he weaves in lessons he’s learned from therapists, energy healers, and the personal community that helped him through his most difficult moments, which included his struggle with alcohol addiction, his separation from his wife, and his estrangement from his children. The narrative’s strength lies in its honesty: Gogolewski spares no detail in recounting how his pursuit of external validation—via Silicon Valley career victories and approval from his father—left him feeling hollow, which adversely affected his personal life. He explains that his own transformation began when he admitted his faults, allowed acceptance to replace self-loathing, and aspired to be “just OK.” His humanistic tone resonates throughout this book, particularly when he recounts how he went through detox four times. Such personal revelations ground the reader in reality and highlight that the healing process is not linear. Exercises throughout the book help to anchor spiritual growth in practical, everyday actions. Although the book’s repetition of core themes (decision versus want, wearing a mask versus embracing one’s true self) may feel insistent, it reinforces the message that authentic progress is ongoing. It reads like a friend counseling you to seek your best—while tossing around a few swear words along the way.

A vulnerable, no-nonsense roadmap that makes a case that aiming for “just OK” can lead to profound change.