DROP DEAD

Everybody agrees that right up to the minute it hit the pavement 30 floors below the Archange Hotel’s penthouse, Cullom Furyk’s toned body made him one of the most sought-after models in the world. But that’s about all they agree on. Gay Tribune gossip and fashion columnist Sean Kindel maintains that as Cullom’s latest lover, he knew him better than anybody else. Gordon Findley, the caterer who’s carried a torch for Cullom ever since their high-school days, says Kindel is delusional; as Cullom’s closest confidant, he would’ve known if Cullom had added Kindel to his storied list of lovers. Cullom’s agent, Hartly Woodward, tearfully tells gay Chicago cop Paul Turner and his straight partner Buck Fenwick that he was the one who knew Cullom best. Franklin Munsen, who employed Cullom as his signature model, calls his fashion house, GUINEVERE Inc., the second-richest in America; Gerald Veleshki and Roger Heyling, Munsen’s cross-town rivals, insist that Munsen’s about to go under and acknowledge that, yes, Cullom was about to start modeling for them. Zubro expertly keeps up the flow of deliciously catty rumors and counter-rumors, but except for the battle over GUINEVERE’s fortunes, the stream of innuendo doesn’t thicken or gel until Turner notices a telltale clue in a pair of underpants. Low-level cop humor and satiric lobs at safe fashion targets keep this fifth installment of Turner’s adventures well below the level of Another Dead Teenager (1995) and The Truth Can Get You Killed (1997).