BOMB SHELTER

Essays on the challenges of midlife parenting and other terrors of human existence.

"Every joy, every loved one, every little thing I got attached to, every purpose I held dear—each one was another stick of dynamite, strapped to the rest. The longer I lived, the more I loved, the larger this combustible bundle grew,” writes Philpott in her second collection. “I walked around constantly in awe of my good fortune and also aware that it could all blow up in an instant, flipping me head over heels into the air, vaporizing everything." In this follow-up to I Miss You When I Blink, the author returns with her trademark blend of crippling anxiety and determined optimism. Early on, Philpott recounts her terror when her teenage son had a grand mal seizure. Concerns about his health create energy and suspense at first, then dissipate, overwhelmed by all the many other things she is worried about. Foremost among them is anxiety about her future empty nest. "Sometimes when I thought about the children leaving,” she writes, “I had a primal urge to swallow them whole, just absorb them back into my body and keep them with me forever." Philpott is clearly aware that she gets carried away sometimes—"I had it undeservedly and nonsensically good as a parent. What gave me the right to existential fear when so little actually threatened my existence or the existence of my loved ones?"—but she is unable to stop herself. In some essays, the author takes a break from her anxiety to joke about her difficulties with cooking, shopping, the NextDoor app, etc., but worry is never far away, because every moment of happiness and satisfaction comes with the specter of its opposite. "I am obsessed with death because I am in love with life….I'm sad because I'm so happy,” writes the author at the end.

First-world problems are still problems. Philpott offers camaraderie for those who face them.