NOTHING IS TERRIBLE
by Matthew Sharpe
Nothing Is Terrible ($22.95; Mar.; 288 pp.; 0-375-50197-5): Sharpe (Stories from the Tube, 1998) has already established
himself as a kind of po-mo Jane Austen, and here he continues in his decorously transgressive vein with the history of young Mary White, a sixth-grade suburbanite who falls in love—with Miss Hartman, her teacher—and runs away to New York City to follow her heart and find her fortune. This is not the sort of story you could call a bodice-ripper, by any means, but Mary narrates her distinctly modern tale in a vaguely Victorian tone ("Now listen carefully, dear reader, because I am going to give you some very important advice: don’t ever have sex with a boy. He sticks you with that thing and it HURTS! And, what’s worse, it feels GOOD!") that provides just enough ironic velocity to keep the ball rolling at a nice, picaresque clip. New York, once we get there, turns out to be filled with precisely those weirdos and con-artists Giuliani is supposed to have chased across
the river, so there’s even a nostalgic feel to the grit. Silly, unpretentious fun: perfect for a long trip.