NOWHERE NEAR EVEREST

A poof of a spoof on all those high climbing books, this takes off with the author's declared philosophy, from the family motto, ""J'avoide"" -- and seldom hits earth again. Recalling his successful career in schools, detouring education, sports, girls, he continues his record of non-achievement in other areas; he becomes a confirmed non-mountain-climbing feller (or mountain- non-climbing) and is able to refuse the fervid pleas of his old friend, Orontes Bump (who wrote the adventurous Bump On A Log), for a go at Everest. However he is gracious enough to include the account of the Bump-Grind Expedition -- which, through mysterious means, accomplished its proposed climb -- up Mount Everett, Mass. This takes its fun where, it's easy to find it -- the preparations, the lists of equipment and provisions, the incidents of the bases and the climb, and hangs up a laugh award for those who have had their share of icy peeks at icy peaks. VIP (Virgil Partch) pictures follow along just as disrespectfully. Not bad.