A mother is DISTRESSED because her gay son wants to adopt a child; what does Meg think? ""I think homosexuals should have the same right to adopt as straights have."" (Parental role models, she points out, don't determine a child's sexual identity.) In Meg Whitcomb, the nation's ANXIOUS, DISTRAUGHT, and HELPLESS advice-seekers have an easier-going alternative to Abigail Van Buren; their letters, classified, could serve as a compendium of what's troubling America today. From her responses, you might also get the idea that there's a support-group for every life-situation--from the Surrogate Parent Association (for folks who've gotten their babies that way) to Straight Partners (for wives and husbands--""and exs""--of gays). Meg's latitude has its bounds. She's dead set against marijuana, for one thing. Though she champions sex education and teen birth control (her arguments against the Squeal Law are deadly), as well as any kind of sex ""that works,"" she's against most Living Together Arrangements: ""1) You don't build love by creating a living situation to test it, and 2) When you ask nothing of a relationship, that's exactly what you get."" But, the authorities notwithstanding, she's upbeat--cavalier, some would call it--about leaving small tots in day care. To parents whose fledglings return to the nest, ""backpack and all,"" she counsels toughness; to wives (and husbands) having two-paycheck money disputes, she advises three bank accounts--his, hers, and ours. The only child has her blessing; the New Chastity, she comprehends. Her readers commend her for speaking up for assertive women. ""Today's young people,"" she asserts orthodoxly, ""are looking for intimacy in the framework of love, marriage, and family."" An eclectic, browsable Whitcomb sampler.