THE WISDOM OF GUNCLES

A semiautobiographical work looks at LGBTQ+ family members.

The term guncle refers to a “gay uncle.” For the purposes of this book, it is used for “any queer relative in a position to pass along their wisdom to a younger generation.” These include a nonbinary drag performer who dotes on their younger relatives and the author’s husband, who came of age in Peru during the terrifying days of the Shining Path. All told, the volume profiles different people in diverse circumstances. What they have in common is time spent “living the life of a black sheep.” These are individuals who in some instances have been rejected by loved ones. Others simply needed to locate supportive communities of their own. Some, like Cristobal from Venezuela, discovered that coming out was “a lifelong journey of processing and accepting that he was never going to be the perfect child his family had hoped for.”Then there’s Coda, a “pansexual, trans-masculine musician, audio engineer, and avid cosplayer,” who found great solace as a youth in SF. The book also includes Dumlao’s own vivid story of growing up as a “Filipino queer” and the triumphs and difficulties that have come with it. Although the volume covers several individuals, it does so in a compact fashion. At under 200 pages, the work is swift, informative, and often moving. The book is at its best when diving into personal, insightful details, as when the author knew that it was “clear to my twelve-year-old self that I liked boys. And that terrified me.” Readers, regardless of their sexual orientations, can certainly empathize with such moments of self-realization. But other passages can be less impactful. For instance, the work relates that one individual was “testing the trans waters of new names and pronouns.” Readers do not learn much more about these tests, though they could make for edifying copy. What names and pronouns worked? What didn’t? Still, with each story told, readers learn, in a heartfelt manner, that there is more than one way to fit into a family.  

A stirring and passionate exploration of queer relatives.