LIFE IN A SUPERMARKET BASKET

In Evanichko’s comic novel, a dying man’s life flashes before his eyes in the form of his final grocery store purchases.

It’s true that product tester Vincent Mariccio technically had 14 items in his basket when he went through a 10-items-or-less self-checkout lane, but does he really deserve to die over it? That’s what happens in 2010 when he walks out into a Columbus, Ohio-based supermarket’s parking lot and into the path of a motorist fleeing the police. As Vincent’s spirit floats above his mangled corpse, however, he sees something completely unexpected: the spirits of his scattered groceries starting to float up, as well: “All fourteen items rise and hover above the accident site like glowing fireflies,” he narrates with horror. “They approach me and begin circling, almost tauntingly.” Each item sparks a memory for Vincent, and none are pleasant. Shampoo reminds him of the time he invited his high school girlfriend over, hoping to lose his virginity, only for her to fool around with his sister instead. The pork chops call to mind when he cooked a special dinner for another girlfriend—a much more serious one—only to learn that she’d been cheating on him with her boss. Can these memories offer him any clarity on how his life became such a disappointment? And could the clues to a better life really be waiting among the floating images of groceries? His guardian angel—a man named Howard, whose death Vincent witnessed as a child—seems to think so: “This was meant to happen, and you need to figure things out,” he tells Vincent. It’s A Wonderful Life, this isn’t; many readers will find both present-day Vincent and his memories to be almost uniformly unpleasant. They’ll also be divided on whether Evanichko’s story earns its ending. That said, there are plenty of cringe-inducing laughs, shocks, and oddities scattered along the protagonist’s path for readers to encounter: One notable example is the recollection triggered by soy milk, which takes Vincent back to when he tried to eat healthy and exercise; this led to him having to be rescued from a sewer—in front of live television cameras.

A gleefully cynical riff on life, death, and second chances.