THINGS MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE ARGUED ABOUT

The title says it all in this newest in spate of ultraclever British novels that have evolved from semiautobiographical weekly columns—in this case, the author’s Web site of the same name.

Thirty-eight-year-old Pel lives with his German girlfriend Ursula and their two little boys in a renovated Victorian house in a rundown neighborhood in northern England. Pel happily kills time at a completely undemanding job in the IT department of the local university library. But then his direct supervisor disappears and Pel is promoted. He soon finds himself embroiled in various intrigues inherited from his former boss: money must be paid to the Chinese mafia for supplying Asian students; bodies buried under a new university building site have to be disposed of, along with some dangerous neurotoxins; the peculiar sexual proclivities of a retiring faculty member need to be hushed up. Poor Pel never quite understands until too late how the powers that be are setting him up as fall guy. Despite its madcap silliness and broad satire, the plot is actually perfunctory, serving to showcase the real subject matter here: Pel’s relationship with Ursula. How he and she, who have been together for years, originally met remains vague, as does the reason they haven’t officially married even after bearing two children and buying a house together. What Millington, named one of Britain’s best first novelists by The Guardian, does spell out in vivid specifics is their arguing. Much of the story, which retains the episodic feel of strung-together columns, is a running commentary on the couple’s sparring about issues large and small: car keys, household chores, sex, the purchase and renovation of a new house. The contrast between their personalities adds to the frisson: Ursula, a physiotherapist, is organized and focused, perhaps pushy; Pel is disorganized, unfocused, a pushover. Neither is exactly appealing, but both have a sense of humor, and the final domestic crisis/car mishap/career meltdown is hysterically funny, if painful.

Lots of quick Brit-wit but pretty shallow.