In previous books, Myron Brenton has covered the plights of runaways, friends, American men, and rebellious teens--always with a certain blend of helpfulness and superficiality. The combination holds here; probably many of us do need to learn, as Brenton contends, to choose mates with our heads as well as our hearts. And possibly the less observant and analytical among us will profit from learning the role old family scripts play in our ongoing relationships, or the degree to which our looks are tied to our self-esteem. But the reader is left up in the air, finally, by the excessive use of questionnaires here; some case-history overkill (do we really need three stories to illustrate one point?); and a certain floundering about for depth of insight (as in ""if he's a good, relaxed conversationalist, it's a good sign that he's relaxed""). Basically, we are asked to ask ourselves endless questions before taking the plunge. Do we have the same values, goals, ""rhythms,"" interests as our prospective mates? Are we looking for someone to complete us in a healthy way, or in a desperate, helplessly dependent funk? High-risk potential mates are separated out into six groups--such as victims of abusive, incestuous, or alcoholic parents--so that we may recognize them immediately. Potential pitfalls for would-be reality-dwellers are likewise set forth: not heeding ""warning words""; believing that love alone will change our lovers. While much of this is inarguable, it's little more than list-making pro and con. Consequently, it may be most appropriate for those who know their minds least.