KILLER KNOTS

Overeating isn’t the only danger when a Florida hairdresser and her fiancé take a Caribbean cruise.

Unlike his in-laws, who are critical from the start, Dalton Vail’s parents seem disposed to like Marla Shore (Dead Roots, 2005, etc.), the salon owner he plans to wed as soon as they set a date. They’ve even sprung for a cruise with the couple and the prospective groom’s teenage daughter, Brianna, in hopes of doing some serious family bonding. But the bonding will have to wait till after dinner, since instead of sitting with John and Kate Vail, the lovebirds find themselves assigned to a table filled with staff from the Camden Palms Museum of Art. They also receive an invitation to the nightly art auction hosted by ex-curator Eric Rand, who lost his post after painter Alden Tusk’s fatal fall from the museum balcony. Rumor has it that Tusk’s triptych, stolen from the museum the night of his death, has found its way to the auction room. While Vail hits the midnight buffet, Marla, intrigued, sits alongside museum director Oliver Smernoff and his boozy wife Irene, business manager Thurston Stark and his trophy wife, Heidi, and special events coordinator Betsy Marsh, looking at modern masters. But when passengers start to disappear, Marla suspects lobster Thermidor isn’t the only thing aboard that’s not kosher.

All the creme rinse in the world couldn’t untangle this shaggy dog.