THE AUTISTIC ADULT'S TOOLBOX

Diggins explores strategies for people with autism to thrive in a neurotypical world.

In the opening chapter, the author introduces the concept of sensory diets, which are intentional choices that support optimal functioning: everything from the living environment to clothing fabrics that preserve energy. “A first step in creating a sensory diet plan,” the author explains, “is to start with a self-assessment. Ask yourself: When do you feel your best? What environments energize you? What situations leave you drained? What sensory experiences do you seek out, and which do you avoid?” The book offers a three-phase action plan for shutdowns (internal withdrawals) and meltdowns (external expressions of overload), consisting of prevention, crisis planning, and recovery. The author draws on her marriage to a neurotypical man to describe the importance of “I want, I need” language for identifying preferences from non-negotiables: for example, wanting Thai food but needing to eat in a calm environment. A chapter on friendship offers tips for establishing and maintaining friendships, as well as a “Friendship Compatibility Checklist” to identify whether individual boundaries, communication styles, and values align. The author also offers detailed discussions on when to disclose an autism diagnosis and how to prepare for a wide range of reactions. Diggins’ advice for social gatherings includes eating beforehand, planning your outfit, and preparing conversation starters. This discussion extends to “big life events,” in which the autistic person is the center of attention. A chapter dedicated to eye contact considers how it may feel like “intimacy overload,” as well as other ways to demonstrate engagement, including verbal affirmations and body language such as head nods. Making meetings more tolerable—by requesting agendas, goals, and role clarity ahead of time—merits its own chapter alongside one on leadership. The book concludes with a section on adapting the book’s strategies for autistic people with ADHD.

Diggins combines lived experience with tried-and-true strategies to help people with autism navigate a neurotypical world. One of the book’s strengths is its breadth; the author addresses everything from romantic partnerships to family gatherings to work settings. Diggins encourages readers to get to know their limits through self-inquiry; for example, she provides a checklist to identify whether and when you are “masking,” with questions such as, “I rehearse what I want to say before speaking, even in casual conversations.” That self-knowledge is followed by implementable strategies, like “low-risk unmasking experiments” such as “letting your enthusiasm for a topic show.” Actionable advice is almost always phrased in a memorable way, including, “Plan ahead, pace yourself, and protect your energy.” The book also recognizes that not all situations are malleable, like the realization that “just as I want others to respect my working style, I need to respect theirs. Sometimes you’ll just have to sit through meetings that feel like a waste of time to you but that are helpful to others.” However, some suggestions seem unrealistic, such as creating a “user manual” to enhance your professional reports on how you lead, work, and communicate—or writing a lengthy letter to your doctor outlining your sensitivities to noise, lighting, movement, and physical contact.

A helpful guide for people with autism that may be overly optimistic in its execution.