NELLY

Alcoholism and mental illness roil a Wisconsin clan in this memoir about childhood abuse, family dysfunction, and the rocky road to recovery.

Branson begins her book with a dramatic event. She was a nurse engaged in a casual sexual encounter with “Dr. Joe” when her boyfriend, Michael, unexpectedly arrived at her apartment. Violence ensued, and the police were called. By the end of the chapter, readers learn the author and Michael reconciled and eventually married. Now, back to the beginning: Branson, her parents’ second child, was born in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, in July 1959. Her father was the superintendent of schools. Her young, sociable parents threw many parties at their house, with attendees usually being faculty members. One teacher, Jeffry, left Branson, still a young child, with a permanent psychological scar. According to the author, he assaulted her sexually in her bedroom during one of the parties. The incident was never discussed in the family, although Branson began drawing sexually explicit pictures (for which she was reprimanded). She acerbically describes the life lessons she learned from her family: “If someone behaves inappropriately, pretend it never happened; Bury emotions; do not attempt to communicate them; Be sneaky—it pays off; No matter what happens, act like everything is fine; When in emotional pain, drink alcohol.” Later, the author added the occasional line of cocaine. Genetically predisposed to alcoholism, she had an additional challenge: “I was born with a significant brain disorder. The mesolimbic pathway in my brain was not formed correctly at birth. This is the area of my brain that has to do with pleasure and mood regulation.” Branson does not make clear how or when she was diagnosed, but she personified this disorder by giving it a name: “Glinda.” Her articulate memoir is the disturbing tale of how she served Glinda by behaving recklessly and how she was sometimes able to keep her at bay. Readers will likely breathe a sigh of relief when the author recounts that she finally acknowledged her alcoholism (in 2003) and took new responsibility for her own life, including the mistakes and victories.  

A disquieting, edgy, and engrossing embrace of the rewards of sobriety.