FEAR, FOLLY & FREUD

Psychotherapist Mendenhall explores her experience undergoing psychoanalysis in this debut memoir.

As is explained early in the text, psychotherapy and psychoanalysis are not interchangeable terms. Psychotherapy refers to a broad range of therapies practiced under various psychological theories while psychoanalysis refers specifically to the therapy pioneered by Sigmund Freud. The author’s story centers around her 10 years undergoing the latter. In such therapy, one is urged to explore their subconscious mind, she notes—a process that tends to “unsettle rather than to calm.” Whereas the author, herself a licensed and long-practicing psychotherapist, would often seek to comfort her patients, a psychoanalyst leads a process that encourages one to explores one’s “inner-feelings, however nasty they may be.” In the time she underwent psychoanalysis, the author also endured major life events including retirement from her private practice and taxing medical concerns. As one might expect from Freudian analysis, much of the author’s analysis involved looking at her early family life. She grew up in the rural Midwest, a place where one’s feelings were considered “to be, well, ridiculous,” she was an only child until the age of 6. These and other points are explored in the text, and although the author’s family dynamics aren’t particularly revealing, the broader story told here is highly insightful and candid; for instance, Mendenhall’s analyst told her, “You like to be mean to me.” It seems a startling statement for any professional to tell a client, but, as one learns, analysis is a special kind of therapy, and even silence has its place. Such details allow the reader to consider Freudian theory through a new and intriguing lens.

A personal and edifying look at Freudian analysis.