THE CIVILITY BOOK

A guide to elevating political discourse in America.

Finley and Henderson, co-founders of the Great Lakes Civility Project, aim to open minds and inspire respectful political discussions in this actionable guide. This pair of “professional rivals and polar opposites” met in 2011 while covering a political conference for different Detroit newspapers. Their unlikely but enduring friendship prompted them to spread the gospel of civility, which they define as “having conversations about things you disagree on without letting hate enter into the equation.” They argue that incivility is threatening our democracy and has resulted in Democrats and Republicans being cast as “two armies competing for total dominance.” To shift the country’s course, Finley and Henderson propose four pillars of civility: “dropping assumptions,” “setting honest goals,” “active listening,” and “coming back.” They believe that most people’s opinions are formed similarly: by taking the available information and running it through a filter of values and personal experiences. Rather than viewing conversations as an opportunity to compete with or convert others, the authors advise aiming for authentic connection instead. Finley and Henderson encourage readers to start wherever they have agency and take it “one conversation, one relationship, one community at a time.” The guide offers readers an optimistic blueprint for restoring respectful political dialogue, and the book’s greatest strength is the authors’ embodiment of this approach; they truly walk the walk of the civility they preach. They include persuasive statistics throughout the book to support their arguments, and continually prompt readers to self-reflect with questions like, “What is the benefit of holding assumptions about other people and their beliefs?” However, their approach’s premise relies on all parties adhering to ground rules, such as “Everyone involved in the conversation must agree that it is a safe zone.” The book also seems to naively imply that good-faith conversations are sufficient to repair deep, structural flaws in the political system.

An empowering but sometimes overly idealistic approach to civil conversations.