THE RICHEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

The Poor Little Rich Girl routine--in a dull and distasteful version that falls (falls is definitely the word) somewhere between Auntie Mame and Harold Robbins. Lily Boeker is a fairly likable 13-year-old at the close of the Jazz Age, but when Daddy succumbs on the polo field, she's left with an alcoholic Mummy, a lecherous step-father, a transvestite cousin, and 200 million dollars. Ah, me. Depression-conscious Lily, of course, would like to give it all away, sweetie that she is, but that would upset the economy, she's told. So Lily's stuck with all that mazuma, and naturally her true love, intern Joel (""it could never have been right""), won't marry a rich girl despite Lily's protests (""it would be, it could be!""). Ah, me. Nothing to do but be semi-frigid (except when dancing while drunk), spend, spend, spend, and marry, marry, take lovers, and marry. An Italian count (annulled), decadent English nobility (he and his cronies gang-rape Lily when she's pregnant), a tennis pro (he suicides in her bed), boringly faithful Vic, blueblooded crook Chip (she accidentally kills him), movie star George, a Swami, and--just before dying--her young biographer Tanner (""You were born for lovemaking!""). Coxhead conscientiously reminds us of the passing decades with pop song references and leaves us with an uplifting message: ""it isn't easy to be rich and have character."" For her own sake, then, avoid this glop and keep Ms. Coxhead as poor as possible--it'll be good for her character.