SIBLING GRIEF

An expert offers advice, based on personal experience, for those who have lost a sibling.

When the author’s child reached the age her sister had been when she died–from a rare form of cancer–her grief suddenly resurged. However, White struggled to find a counselor who could offer her the support she needed to heal. During the next several years, the author strived to understand what she was feeling, returned to school and became a counselor herself. On one anniversary of her sister’s death, she posted a website called The Sibling Connection, which has grown into a non profit organization providing resources and counselling for bereaved siblings. In this slim but thorough volume, White outlines the specific ways in which losing a sibling as an infant, a young child, an adolescent, a college student or as an adult can often impact an individual. Countering the common theories about grief derived from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s stages of dying, the author dismisses the idea that one must work toward letting the deceased go. Rather, she takes the intriguing approach of encouraging bereaved siblings to follow a five-step process that allows for a continued connection with the deceased. White urges surviving siblings to learn about loss and the grieving process, allow oneself to grieve, connect with other bereaved siblings, tell one’s story and to find meaning in the loss. She further examines factors that influence grief, and offers specific suggestions for recovery. The author concludes the book with an extensive bibliography of works relevant to loss of a sibling, providing readers with resources that will enable them to take that first step toward healing. Sibling Grief is particularly effective because White’s expertise is derived as much from her professional work and research as it is from her experience as a bereaved sister.

A worthy resource for those mourning a sibling or others.