BABES IN CAPTIVITY

Whiny wives.

Deirdre Wylie used to be a babe, before she gave birth to twins with cutesy alliterative names (Zack and Zoe). What happened to her dream of becoming a singing sensation? Marriage. Mind you, her husband Paul is the nicest guy in the world. They’ve weathered everything together, including in vitro fertilization, and he’s never let her down. He’s always dependable, always there. He’s too good. Her four friends breathlessly await further details. Deirdre, tossing her rain-bedewed auburn curls, hesitates. What life-destroying hidden horror has she endured? He doesn’t turn her on. Only Nick Ruby, fellow musician and red-hot lover, did that. So what’s better: men or dildos? The friends vote for a miraculous battery-operated device known as the Pocket Rocket before the sad stories resume. Juliette Chalfont has a rich, controlling husband and a son with Asperger’s syndrome. Anne split up with Damian, a brilliant but self-absorbed British moviemaker (the starving kind) after their daughter was born. Lisa, a mother of four with a flawless figure and a perfect house, sees it all go to pieces when medical tests reveal something serious. Once she starts to sing and audition again, Deirdre confides in Nick, who offers motherly advice and chaste friendship. It all works out, but who cares?

Trite and talky second novel from the author of The Man I Should Have Married (2003).