Sobering relationship advice yet wickedly funny at times.
A debut dating guide targets widows and divorced women.
Koprucki, who suffered the death of her spouse after “more than” 29 years of marriage, writes with candor in this manual about the sometimes-unimaginable pain of loss. She begins by discussing the unique challenge of facing holidays and special occasions alone. The author suggests establishing new traditions, engaging in travel, and focusing on others to deflect melancholy and depression. Her advice is compassionate yet blunt: “You will never be able fully to divide him from you, so stop trying and let it flow.…There is no such thing as absolute closure.” The bulk of the book pertains to living with loss and getting on with life, largely as it relates to developing a relationship with another man. Much of the volume centers on how to reenter the dating scene; Koprucki shares her thoughts about appearance, concentrating on hair, makeup, weight, and clothes. Chapters concerning where men congregate and the three basic male types (“TradeDown, Jungleboy, and TradeUp”) are enlightening as well as highly amusing. Jungleboy, writes the author, “is a real man with street smarts.…Jungleboy is a participant, not a spectator.…He is at home in the vortex of conflict.” Several observations of masculine behavior are insightful; for example, a list of key attributes highlights “how does he treat waiters and waitresses? Or anyone whom he mistakenly perceives as being beneath him in social and/or career status? This tells who he is.” Koprucki spends considerable time covering the ins and outs of online dating with an emphasis on do’s and don’ts. Later chapters concern budding relationships with men—communicating via email, text, or phone; interacting with family and friends; sustaining a relationship; and gauging the potential for marriage. Still, portions of the book speak to female independence, such as a chapter that encourages women to fix mechanical and electronic items. Rather than exuding doom and gloom, the author’s sense of humor is liberally sprinkled throughout the guide. This lightens up what is undoubtedly a heart-wrenching time for women who are suddenly single.
Sobering relationship advice yet wickedly funny at times.Pub Date: June 13, 2019
ISBN: 978-1-5043-1418-3
Page Count: 138
Publisher: BalboaPress
Review Posted Online: March 19, 2020
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.
A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.
What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.
These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015
ISBN: 978-1-101-946909
Page Count: 160
Publisher: Knopf
Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015
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