SUDDENLY SINGLE AT SIXTY

A debut dating guide targets widows and divorced women.

Koprucki, who suffered the death of her spouse after “more than” 29 years of marriage, writes with candor in this manual about the sometimes-unimaginable pain of loss. She begins by discussing the unique challenge of facing holidays and special occasions alone. The author suggests establishing new traditions, engaging in travel, and focusing on others to deflect melancholy and depression. Her advice is compassionate yet blunt: “You will never be able fully to divide him from you, so stop trying and let it flow.…There is no such thing as absolute closure.” The bulk of the book pertains to living with loss and getting on with life, largely as it relates to developing a relationship with another man. Much of the volume centers on how to reenter the dating scene; Koprucki shares her thoughts about appearance, concentrating on hair, makeup, weight, and clothes. Chapters concerning where men congregate and the three basic male types (“TradeDown, Jungleboy, and TradeUp”) are enlightening as well as highly amusing. Jungleboy, writes the author, “is a real man with street smarts.…Jungleboy is a participant, not a spectator.…He is at home in the vortex of conflict.” Several observations of masculine behavior are insightful; for example, a list of key attributes highlights “how does he treat waiters and waitresses? Or anyone whom he mistakenly perceives as being beneath him in social and/or career status? This tells who he is.” Koprucki spends considerable time covering the ins and outs of online dating with an emphasis on do’s and don’ts. Later chapters concern budding relationships with men—communicating via email, text, or phone; interacting with family and friends; sustaining a relationship; and gauging the potential for marriage. Still, portions of the book speak to female independence, such as a chapter that encourages women to fix mechanical and electronic items. Rather than exuding doom and gloom, the author’s sense of humor is liberally sprinkled throughout the guide. This lightens up what is undoubtedly a heart-wrenching time for women who are suddenly single.

Sobering relationship advice yet wickedly funny at times.