"DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, SUSAN?”

Lecturer and consultant Dale aims to teach women how to be more assertive in their everyday lives.

In this guide, the author, a professor emeritus of speech communication at Miami Dade College, presents a series of stories followed by resolutions, interactive examples, and exercises that attempt to define and encourage more confident and self-assured behavior. At times, the accounts seem to bleed into one another a bit; for example, readers learn about the fictional Pam and Carl’s dinner conversation, another woman and her lawyer’s scheduling conflict, and the author’s friend’s assertion that Dale is “aggressive”—all on the same page. However, the interactive exercises in each chapter are brief and specific and always include a sample solution that guides readers to a recommended approach to taking control of the situation. This format often works well, as it gives readers a tangible solution to situations that they come across every day; for example, in the same chapter, she provides the following example: “A client of yours asks you to reduce your customary fee for a service you provide. You know your charges are fair and competitive with the going rate for the same service charged by other local professionals.” When Dale provides assertive statements for use during confrontations—such as “I don’t appreciate your remark” or “There’s no need for sarcasm” in response to a put-down in a later chapter—it effectively allows the user to see how a simple, brief statement can be used to help one to stand one’s ground. There’s a clear shortcoming to the text, though, in that the perspective of women of color is entirely missing from the discussion. In Dale’s examinations of assertiveness versus aggressiveness, she mentions that “women who regularly use [a] submissive or nonassertive communication style report feelings of inferiority and low self-esteem,” and she portrays submissiveness as universally bad. At no point, though, does the book discuss the way that race and prejudice affect women of color’s approaches to problem-resolution or how they’re more likely to be coded as “aggressive” when, in fact, they’re being “assertive,” as defined by this book.

An informative compilation of examples and exercises, but one that feels incomplete.