OUR FATHERS, OURSELVES

DAUGHTERS, FATHERS, AND THE CHANGING AMERICAN FAMILY

Drexler (Psychology/Cornell Univ.; Raising Boys Without Men, 2005) sheds new light on the relationship between fathers and daughters.

The word father means different things to different people, but for the author, who lost hers at an early age, it means mystery. She always wondered what she missed growing up without one. Through research, surveys and conversations with other women, the author weaves an intriguing analysis of the often complex father-daughter relationship. The author’s first-person style is accessible and friendly, and she refrains from insulting the intelligence of the reader. Broken into three parts, the book kicks off with an overview of the roles fathers play in parenting and problems that can arise, with examples of fathers who get too close and fathers who do not put effort into getting close enough. The second section presents case studies of six women who have had positive relationships with their fathers—e.g., one father taught his daughter everything he would have taught a son. Though not surprising, the conclusions in the final section are significant. Every woman in the study realized the importance of the father figure in her life, even if the relationship was not entirely positive. Drexler includes a questionnaire that gently guides readers through an assessment of how well she knows her father, and provides tips for ways to improve father-daughter relations. Those tips, however, aren't simple or trite; her questions are thoughtful prompts for deeper analysis. A helpful guide to father-daughter relationships, in which the author indicates that a woman must come to terms with her father in order to empower herself. 

 

Pub Date: May 10, 2011

ISBN: 978-1-60529-360-8

Page Count: 272

Publisher: Rodale

Review Posted Online: May 3, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: May 15, 2011

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Mostly conservative in its stance and choices but common-sensical and current.

HOW TO RAISE A READER

Savvy counsel and starter lists for fretting parents.

New York Times Book Review editor Paul (My Life With Bob: Flawed Heroine Keeps Book of Books, Plot Ensues, 2017, etc.) and Russo, the children’s book editor for that publication, provide standard-issue but deftly noninvasive strategies for making books and reading integral elements in children’s lives. Some of it is easier said than done, but all is intended to promote “the natural, timeless, time-stopping joys of reading” for pleasure. Mediumwise, print reigns supreme, with mild approval for audio and video books but discouraging words about reading apps and the hazards of children becoming “slaves to the screen.” In a series of chapters keyed to stages of childhood, infancy to the teen years, the authors supplement their advice with short lists of developmentally appropriate titles—by their lights, anyway: Ellen Raskin’s Westing Game on a list for teens?—all kitted out with enticing annotations. The authors enlarge their offerings with thematic lists, from “Books That Made Us Laugh” to “Historical Fiction.” In each set, the authors go for a mix of recent and perennially popular favorites, leaving off mention of publication dates so that hoary classics like Janice May Udry’s A Tree Is Nice seem as fresh as David Wiesner’s Flotsam and Carson Ellis’ Du Iz Tak? and sidestepping controversial titles and themes in the sections for younger and middle-grade readers—with a few exceptions, such as a cautionary note that some grown-ups see “relentless overparenting” in Margaret Wise Brown’s Runaway Bunny. Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House series doesn’t make the cut except for a passing reference to its “troubling treatment of Indians.” The teen lists tend to be edgier, salted with the provocative likes of Art Spiegelman’s Maus and Angie Thomas’ The Hate U Give, and a nod to current demands for more LGBTQ and other #ownvoices books casts at least a glance beyond the mainstream. Yaccarino leads a quartet of illustrators who supplement the occasional book cover thumbnails with vignettes and larger views of children happily absorbed in reading.

Mostly conservative in its stance and choices but common-sensical and current.

Pub Date: Sept. 3, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-5235-0530-2

Page Count: 216

Publisher: Workman

Review Posted Online: July 28, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2019

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Despite Meyer's unusual perspective, this journal contains memorable passages of joy and sorrow for parents and children of...

NO PALTRY THING

MEMOIRS OF A GEEZER DAD

A 70-something reflects on becoming the father of his sixth child at age 59.

Meyer fathered three sons during the Vietnam War era while married to his first wife. A journalism professor at California State University-Long Beach, he entered a second marriage to a student 27 years his junior, fathering two daughters and a son. After much agonizing about balancing career and family, Meyer took early retirement from his teaching to become a parent and a home-based freelance writer. Before his retirement, the first batch of his diary-like entries became a book, 1989's My Summer With Molly: The Journal of a Second Generation Father. After retirement, he became a regular journal-writer, musing about parenting and dozens of related threads. Just as Molly dominated the first collection of entries, son Franz dominates the second collection. At turns doctrinaire, old fuddy-duddy, self-deprecating, melancholy, humorous, even hip, Meyer is a thoughtful guide through daily life. The seemingly oblique title becomes clear in the context of the W.B. Yeats' quotation from which it is derived: "An aged man is but a paltry thing / A tattered coat upon a stick unless / Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing / For every tatter in its mortal dress..." Meyer sounds ageist at times, but throughout, he is determined to fight his own aging and to serve as a good husband and father. Eschewing sentimentality much of the time, Meyer can't help occasionally lapsing into teary-eyed territory. He concludes that "geezer fatherdom" is worth the costs, that "in the end, there is only love, active and remembered, to warm the chill of a cooling universe."

Despite Meyer's unusual perspective, this journal contains memorable passages of joy and sorrow for parents and children of all ages.

Pub Date: Feb. 15, 2005

ISBN: 0-942273-05-2

Page Count: -

Publisher: N/A

Review Posted Online: May 23, 2010

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