THE BOOK YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS HAD READ

A veteran London-based psychotherapist uses her training and numerous case studies to formulate advice on how to develop strong and lasting relationships with your children.

“I take the long-term view on parenting rather than a tips-and-tricks approach,” writes Perry (How To Stay Sane, 2012, etc.). “I am interested in how we can relate to our children rather than how we can manipulate them….This book is for parents who not only love their children but want to like them too.” At the beginning, the author asks readers to examine their own childhoods—the good, bad, and everything in-between—and assess what made them feel safe, nurtured, and loved unconditionally. If one did not have a childhood that fostered these positive emotions, as many have not, then she suggests that the emotional discomfort one feels is the clue to what not to do with your own child. By identifying these difficulties, one is more readily able to do the opposite and nurture positive feelings in your child. Perry looks at pregnancy and the first few months of life with a newborn, noting how the months prior to birth and immediately after create significant changes in a parent’s life as they assume one of life’s greatest responsibilities. The author encourages parents to talk to and engage with their child as soon as they can, accepting them as a fully aware person and not someone to talk down to or ignore by constantly being on the phone or by using electronic devices to entertain them. Her common-sense advice is backed by research and case studies as well as a variety of exercises for parents, including one about “how to predict difficulties.” Although Perry’s theories are hardly groundbreaking, the presentation of the information is friendly, accessible, and candid, making it easy to digest and act on.

Solid, logical tips for readers to be better parents than their own parents.