MOMENTS THAT MATTER

Geller and Lieberman offer a guide to commemorating late-in-life milestones aimed at Jewish readers.

The authors state in their introduction, “this book is written for active adults who want to mark an important moment of transition.” Such moments of transition include events like finalizing the end of a marriage, moving to a new community, and sending children off into the world to make their own marks. Geller and Lieberman detail rituals that one can perform to mark these times of change, including a special way in which one might celebrate a significant birthday: Their suggestions include gathering friends and family, providing four cups for each participant, and, after blessings, taking a drink from each cup; the participants can also recite the traditional Jewish birthday blessing of Ad mei-ah v’esrim (“may you live to be 120”). The text also provides “Words of Wisdom,” with firsthand accounts from people who have gone through important life events and guidance for clergy. The authors are thoughtful in their approach; they suggest that readers desiring a public ceremony to demonstrate that they are starting a new relationship ask, “What are you signaling to other people if your ceremony is public?” The book offers novel takes on situations that can be notably uncomfortable. A chapter titled “Coming Out with Memory Loss” details a ceremony designed to inform others that one has been diagnosed with a memory disorder—the diagnosed individual can pray to the “God of compassion” to “soothe [their] spirit” whenever confusion takes hold. They may also ask God to “Accompany my loved ones as they walk in the shadow of my illness.” This openness about difficult life stages gives the work its appeal; Geller and Lieberman offer comfort and hope in places where such things are often lacking.

A thoughtful, spiritual approach to grappling with and sharing momentous occasions.