UNICORNS HAVE BAD MANNERS

A dinosaur longs for a friend with good manners.

Nigel, a prim turquoise theropod with a dapper bow tie, is very strict about etiquette. He’s read all of the best primers on the subject (including Elbows Off the Table and Other Rules of Carnivorous Courtesy), but he just can’t seem to find a tea-party guest who will meet his high standards. Alas, a dragon sneezed directly onto the table (and set it on fire), and a llama thought the teacups were toys and balanced them on his head. But finally, a unicorn is coming to tea. Nigel is convinced that the “unicorn’s manners will be sublime.” Periwinkle, a bright yellow unicorn with a magenta mane, swoops to the table. Unfortunately, she shines her horn with the napkin and dunks a cookie directly in the teapot! Poor Nigel is the picture of dejection. But Periwinkle explains that she learned from her great-grandmother that it is polite to eat dessert first and to spear cookies with forks. It appears the message Halpern is reaching for is that table manners are arbitrary and differ from culture to culture (or, in this case, species to species). But instead of choosing an inclusive conclusion, the text lands hard on “Maybe bad manners aren’t so bad after all,” accompanied by a picture of Nigel, Periwinkle, and his erstwhile guests displaying comically bad manners. Manners-abiding hopefuls may cringe.

Etiquette that falls short.