TEARS & LAUGHTERS

A debut volume of poetry explores love, loss, and suicide.

Described as “a poetry journal,” this collection opens with a piece of flash fiction entitled “THE TWO OF US: A STORY.” It describes a young girl vomiting in the bathroom at a college party. Inebriated and distressed, she castigates herself, asking, “Why can’t I be normal?” To her surprise, she is suddenly confronted with the image of her own body, “cold and unresponsive,” on the floor. Outside of the stall, she finds another incarnation of herself fixing her makeup. The tale introduces various themes found in the poetry that follows. Many poems, such as “THE END,” deal with breakups and the ensuing feelings of worthlessness: “Because if you go, it is the end of my fucking boring life.” Others approach thoughts of self-harm and suicide, as found in “THIS IS HOW I DEAL WITH IT”: “Maybe I’ll slit my wrists / Or cut my thighs.” But other poems, such as “BIRTHDAY SHOOTING STAR,” hope for a better life: “I want to be loved in such a way that my soul is consumed.” Glimmers of hope are nevertheless unusual in a collection dedicated to “those who have a hard time loving themselves.” Some readers will strongly identify with the female protagonist’s feelings of ostracization and her desire to numb her pain with alcohol in “THE TWO OF US.” The idea of her dividing into other “selves” is thought provoking, but the plot remains underdeveloped. Unfortunately, R.F.’s poetry often lacks nuance. The poet identifies fundamental sensations, like pain, but does not unpack these feelings using vivid language. In “THE ROOM,” R.F. writes: “Cry next to him, with the silent noise / Of a love that has died; A love from anyone. / Abandoned in a cold room / Immersed in a sea of pain / Sabotaged by the waves of loneliness.” While the oxymoron “silent noise” captures the void forged by loss, lines like “Immersed in a sea of pain” seem cliched and insufficiently explorative. The result is a collection of poetry that repeatedly circles emotions but rarely provides trenchant commentary.

A stirring yet rudimentary examination of failed love.