SWEET FARTS

Last year at Harborside Elementary, Keith Emerson did something amazing at the science fair: He invented Sweet Farts, candy that makes toots smell sweet. Now he’s rich and has a big lab, but what will he do for an encore? Mr Gonzalez, the rich scientist who helped him last year, is going away, but he’s scheduled a talk-show appearance for Keith to promote whatever he invents this year. Keith’s buddies Anthony and Scott are no help, and Emma, Keith’s four-year-old sister, eschews eating but loves farting. Can Keith come up with something better than Sweet Farts or will he crap out? Even in a world where kids can play the lottery, where science means just coming up with an idea, where negligent parents let their four-year-olds eat only candy and chips…this is an unrealistic mess. Peppered with clichés, peopled with characteristics rather than characters and burdened by dialogue so wooden you could knock it for luck, Bean’s second fart-centric tale is one joke short of a one-joke title. For good gassy humor turn to the Grosse Adventures manga series or the late-’90s series Barf-o-Rama, by Pat Pollari. (Fiction. 8-12)