A double-barreled, heavy-handed satire on marketing theory and product development. First, a manifesto: whatever can be produced is good, and whoever can be made to buy should be -- ""by any means necessary."" Then, a list of suggested commodities. How about: lacquered umbilical cords (to replace bronzed baby shoes) or false nipples (for those insecure in the bra-less look) or ""famous excrement"" (to identify organically with your favorite celebrity)? Also services: ""bureaucratic gripes,"" ""degree-faking,"" ""voices of God,"" genealogical research to find the family's black sheep so the kids will have anti-heroes to identify with, ""hang-up service"" to vindicate your neuroses, ""personalized soap-opera scripts"" . . . . Why isn't it funny? Too labored perhaps or is it too close to the actual brainstorms of actual gamesmen? The title will draw browsers or are they suckers?