REMIND ME AGAIN WHY I MARRIED YOU

Bickering couple fight about everything.

Lisa Diodetto, the gutsy heroine of Pink Slip (1999), is five years older and not a lot happier. For one thing, she and hubby Eben Strauss can’t conceive a second child—not that she’s absolutely sure she wants another, since the first has adenoids. Little Danny’s loud snoring isn’t the only thing that keeps her tossing and turning at night—practical Ebb just doesn’t think much of the novel she’s writing. Okay, it is about a contemporary marriage on the rocks, but that doesn’t mean it’s their marriage. Especially since Ebb is the newly promoted Vice President of Internal Relations at his company. He used to be halfway across the country every time she ovulated; but since he’s been home so much more, routine make-a-baby sex reminds her only of the crushing disappointment of secondary infertility. Just because stay-at-home mom Lisa secretly dreams of becoming a published author doesn’t mean she wants out. Maybe she needs a project. Maybe buying a house would be a good idea. The real-estate agent is a purring blond named Cynthia Farquhar. Cynthia couldn’t possibly be interested in a middle-aged stick-in-the-mud like Ebb, could she? Not when Ebb’s tendency to constipation is explored in telling detail. Lisa broods over things like misplaced toenail clippings and the way colorblind Ebb always picks out the worst tie. Maybe that phone call from a New York literary agent will cheer her up. They meet in Manhattan for sushi, and she’s utterly put off by the way he harasses the waiter for half a portion of eel, instead of being man enough to order the whole squiggly thing. Not to mention he’s a total phony and asks her to rewrite the predictable ending of her novel. She might as well go home and keep obsessing about belches, burps, poops, farts, and turds (lots of puerile scatological humor, folks). Maybe Ebb will even get off the pot and tell her he still loves her.

Wearying.