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THE NEW 60

OUTLIVING YOURSELF AND REINVENTING A FUTURE

Intriguing columns best read in small doses.

A collection of columns Levithan—a contributor to The Huffington Post and the Good Men Project Magazine—wrote about approaching and reaching the age of 60.

At first glance readers might wonder what is so singular about this milestone, but Levithan’s story is extraordinary. In 1984 he tested positive for HIV, grew increasingly ill and sat parked at death’s door before he won a lifesaving medical lottery a decade later: He was chosen to participate in a trial for an antiretroviral cocktail to fight HIV. Levithan is not short on gratitude for being alive and beating the long odds; he talks about his work as a volunteer counselor for many experiencing health crises or struggling with gay issues. He discusses society’s internalized prejudices—homophobia, ageism, anti-Semitism—and dreams of a time when differences will be celebrated. His most compelling stories are those he tells about others—quirky relatives or talented, true friends. Sadly, these anecdotes are too few and the predominant thrust of the book lies with the author. Many passages read like excerpts from a schoolboy’s diary: He recounts successful and disappointing dates (readers may wince at his lack of discretion when describing them) and how he frequently gets hit on by men in their early 20s. Missing from the frank discussions of sex—despite his life-threatening, life-changing experience with AIDS—is any mention of condoms or the importance of safe sex. Thematically, these columns center on celebrating and coming to terms with turning 60. Even so, the repetition can be wearying when read in toto. The author admits being told he could be “more discrete in content and tone” and states “I have been accused of bragging, of flaunting my sexuality and physical attributes—my privileges.” The collection could have been stronger if the author had heeded this advice.

Intriguing columns best read in small doses.

Pub Date: March 16, 2012

ISBN: 978-1468009897

Page Count: 148

Publisher: CreateSpace

Review Posted Online: April 24, 2012

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THE ART OF SOLITUDE

A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.

A teacher and scholar of Buddhism offers a formally varied account of the available rewards of solitude.

“As Mother Ayahuasca takes me in her arms, I realize that last night I vomited up my attachment to Buddhism. In passing out, I died. In coming to, I was, so to speak, reborn. I no longer have to fight these battles, I repeat to myself. I am no longer a combatant in the dharma wars. It feels as if the course of my life has shifted onto another vector, like a train shunted off its familiar track onto a new trajectory.” Readers of Batchelor’s previous books (Secular Buddhism: Imagining the Dharma in an Uncertain World, 2017, etc.) will recognize in this passage the culmination of his decadeslong shift away from the religious commitments of Buddhism toward an ecumenical and homegrown philosophy of life. Writing in a variety of modes—memoir, history, collage, essay, biography, and meditation instruction—the author doesn’t argue for his approach to solitude as much as offer it for contemplation. Essentially, Batchelor implies that if you read what Buddha said here and what Montaigne said there, and if you consider something the author has noticed, and if you reflect on your own experience, you have the possibility to improve the quality of your life. For introspective readers, it’s easy to hear in this approach a direct response to Pascal’s claim that “all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Batchelor wants to relieve us of this inability by offering his example of how to do just that. “Solitude is an art. Mental training is needed to refine and stabilize it,” he writes. “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” Whatever a soul is, the author goes a long way toward soothing it.

A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.

Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-300-25093-0

Page Count: 200

Publisher: Yale Univ.

Review Posted Online: Nov. 24, 2019

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2019

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ON LIVING

A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran.

Lessons about life from those preparing to die.

A longtime hospice chaplain, Egan (Fumbling: A Pilgrimage Tale of Love, Grief, and Spiritual Renewal on the Camino de Santiago, 2004) shares what she has learned through the stories of those nearing death. She notices that for every life, there are shared stories of heartbreak, pain, guilt, fear, and regret. “Every one of us will go through things that destroy our inner compass and pull meaning out from under us,” she writes. “Everyone who does not die young will go through some sort of spiritual crisis.” The author is also straightforward in noting that through her experiences with the brokenness of others, and in trying to assist in that brokenness, she has found healing for herself. Several years ago, during a C-section, Egan suffered a bad reaction to the anesthesia, leading to months of psychotic disorders and years of recovery. The experience left her with tremendous emotional pain and latent feelings of shame, regret, and anger. However, with each patient she helped, the author found herself better understanding her own past. Despite her role as a chaplain, Egan notes that she rarely discussed God or religious subjects with her patients. Mainly, when people could talk at all, they discussed their families, “because that is how we talk about God. That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives.” It is through families, Egan began to realize, that “we find meaning, and this is where our purpose becomes clear.” The author’s anecdotes are often thought-provoking combinations of sublime humor and tragic pathos. She is not afraid to point out times where she made mistakes, even downright failures, in the course of her work. However, the nature of her work means “living in the gray,” where right and wrong answers are often hard to identify.

A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran.

Pub Date: Oct. 25, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-59463-481-9

Page Count: 224

Publisher: Riverhead

Review Posted Online: Aug. 2, 2016

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2016

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