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CONSCIOUS PARENTING

USING THE PARENTAL AWARENESS THRESHOLD

A simple but thoughtful handbook for 21st-century parents.

In this slim parenting guide, Saul, a pediatrics professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, urges parents to be more engaged with their children and their community.

After the 1999 Columbine High School shootings, Saul penned his debut parenting manual, My Children’s Children (2013), which offered ideas on how to raise kids to be good citizens. That sentiment continues in this friendly guide as he advocates for increased parental involvement at home and in larger communities. He’s clearly a fan of the “it takes a village” philosophy, as he contends that all children are the “joint responsibility” of all adults. But good citizenship begins at home, and he notes that parents who practice “conscious awareness”—by, for example, actively listening to children in order to understand their needs—have more positive interactions with their kids generally. “The Parental Awareness Threshold (PAT) is the state of conscious awareness about the past, current and future interactions of a parent with their children,” he explains, and people who learn to successfully parent “above the PAT” will be better able to rationally assess situations instead of reacting emotionally. His brief chapters contain some memorable real-life scenarios in boxed text for easy reference, and he offers calm advice for stressed-out mothers and fathers. For example, he tells a story of a child spilling a drink on a car’s back seat; a parent yells but later finds out it wasn’t the child’s fault. Instead of yelling, notes Saul, the parent could have pulled over, cleaned up, and listened to the youngster’s explanation of what happened. Several ideas here are obvious, such as that patience is critical for effective parenting. Also, some readers won’t like the book’s lack of emphasis on individuality; for example, it doesn’t address the question of whether one may be a good citizen without being deeply involved in the community. However, others will appreciate Saul’s focus on the importance of active caring.

A simple but thoughtful handbook for 21st-century parents.

Pub Date: March 17, 2020

ISBN: 978-1-64663-043-1

Page Count: 100

Publisher: Koehler Books

Review Posted Online: March 26, 2020

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CALL ME ANNE

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

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BRAVE ENOUGH

These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.

A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.

What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.

These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-101-946909

Page Count: 160

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015

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