CONSCIOUS PARENTING

In this slim parenting guide, Saul, a pediatrics professor at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, urges parents to be more engaged with their children and their community.

After the 1999 Columbine High School shootings, Saul penned his debut parenting manual, My Children’s Children (2013), which offered ideas on how to raise kids to be good citizens. That sentiment continues in this friendly guide as he advocates for increased parental involvement at home and in larger communities. He’s clearly a fan of the “it takes a village” philosophy, as he contends that all children are the “joint responsibility” of all adults. But good citizenship begins at home, and he notes that parents who practice “conscious awareness”—by, for example, actively listening to children in order to understand their needs—have more positive interactions with their kids generally. “The Parental Awareness Threshold (PAT) is the state of conscious awareness about the past, current and future interactions of a parent with their children,” he explains, and people who learn to successfully parent “above the PAT” will be better able to rationally assess situations instead of reacting emotionally. His brief chapters contain some memorable real-life scenarios in boxed text for easy reference, and he offers calm advice for stressed-out mothers and fathers. For example, he tells a story of a child spilling a drink on a car’s back seat; a parent yells but later finds out it wasn’t the child’s fault. Instead of yelling, notes Saul, the parent could have pulled over, cleaned up, and listened to the youngster’s explanation of what happened. Several ideas here are obvious, such as that patience is critical for effective parenting. Also, some readers won’t like the book’s lack of emphasis on individuality; for example, it doesn’t address the question of whether one may be a good citizen without being deeply involved in the community. However, others will appreciate Saul’s focus on the importance of active caring.

A simple but thoughtful handbook for 21st-century parents.