HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR ACTING-UP TEENAGER by Robert T. & Jean Bayard Bayard

HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR ACTING-UP TEENAGER

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KIRKUS REVIEW

Strategies for dealing with difficult teens that most parents would be hard-pressed to implement on their own. (Many wouldn't want to.) The Bayards, California psychotherapists, suggest that parents stop taking responsibility for their teenagers' lives. They should make a list of bothersome behaviors, and note which are ""kid's life"" issues (everything from not taking baths to being sexually active), and which truly affect their own lives (from ""gets furniture dirty when he sits on it"" to ""expects me to raise the baby""). On ""kid's life"" items, kids should make the decisions (and take the consequences). On other items, ""keep your head and do your best to get for your inner being what it truly wants."" This will probably involve deciding on one's own rights (privacy, perhaps, or feeling secure about belongings); making sure that temptations are removed (locking up valuables); and standing up for one's self. The recommended strategy: say, ""Dan, I'd like this kitchen cleaned up,"" as many as 20 times, without getting angry; if Dan's resolve isn't broken, do something a bit zany (like threatening to wear a mask, out of embarrassment, in front of company). ""For a few parents in unusually difficult situations,"" however, the ""parental strike"" may be necessary--withholding payments to the orthodontist, or no longer providing a place to live. Conceptually plausible, maybe, but hardly a likely (or attractive) prospect.

Pub Date: March 21st, 1983
ISBN: 0871314797
Publisher: Evans