An engaging examination of a painful subject, with a focus on healing and forgiveness.
A debut memoir about a man working as a rape crisis counselor.
Uttaro, who spent years as a volunteer at a crisis center, aims to “alleviate [the] shame” directed at victims of sexual assault, but he quickly asserts that he doesn’t have “all of the answers.” In college, he was inspired by a classroom visit from the center’s staff, during which he found himself “called” to work there. He chronicles his service as a counselor and occasionally includes the poetry of some of the rape survivors with whom he worked. He frequently addresses readers directly and offers compassionate advice. Occasionally, the memoir reads more like a journal, particularly when Uttaro reflects on feelings of nervousness: “Dude relax….Chill out,” he tells himself. His use of expletives may jar some readers, and the book’s tone often shifts between personal and professional. At times, he wanders off track, as when he vents about the lack of enthusiasm at a “pathetic rally,” but for the most part, he focuses on his admiration and respect for survivors and counselors alike. He also makes an effort to encourage his readers: “There is often more power in our own voices than we can fathom.” Some anecdotes are uneventful, but others are quite moving. He describes several “speaker engagements” in which survivors talked about their assaults, including Rebecca, a college student attacked by a friend; Corey, a transgendered man who took his attacker to court; Alexis, who was raped by an acquaintance in her college dorm room; and Jim, who was abused by a Roman Catholic priest. Some of the most effective segments are interviews with various staff members, including Aila, who works for the center’s legal department. She explains the difficulties of rape prosecution, concluding that “[o]nly the survivor” can truly define justice. Uttaro is particularly disturbed by “victim blaming,” and on this subject, his language swings between belligerence and poignancy: “Drunk or sober, [victims] are not to blame,” he writes. “They are never to blame.”
An engaging examination of a painful subject, with a focus on healing and forgiveness.Pub Date: Oct. 23, 2013
ISBN: 978-1490931661
Page Count: 268
Publisher: CreateSpace
Review Posted Online: Jan. 20, 2014
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A marvelously tender memoir on suicide and loss.
An essayist and novelist turns her attention to the heartache of a friend’s suicide.
Crosley’s memoir is not only a joy to read, but also a respectful and philosophical work about a colleague’s recent suicide. “All burglaries are alike, but every burglary is uninsured in its own way,” she begins, in reference to the thief who stole the jewelry from her New York apartment in 2019. Among the stolen items was her grandmother’s “green dome cocktail ring with tiers of tourmaline (think kryptonite, think dish soap).” She wrote those words two months after the burglary and “one month since the violent death of my dearest friend.” That friend was Russell Perreault, referred to only by his first name, her boss when she was a publicist at Vintage Books. Russell, who loved “cheap trinkets” from flea markets, had “the timeless charm of a movie star, the competitive edge of a Spartan,” and—one of many marvelous details—a “thatch of salt-and-pepper hair, seemingly scalped from the roof of an English country house.” Over the years, the two became more than boss and subordinate, teasing one another at work, sharing dinners, enjoying “idyllic scenes” at his Connecticut country home, “a modest farmhouse with peeling paint and fragile plumbing…the house that Windex forgot.” It was in the barn at that house that Russell took his own life. Despite the obvious difference in the severity of robbery and suicide, Crosley fashions a sharp narrative that finds commonality in the dislocation brought on by these events. The book is no hagiography—she notes harassment complaints against Russell for thoughtlessly tossed-off comments, plus critiques of the “deeply antiquated and often backward” publishing industry—but the result is a warm remembrance sure to resonate with anyone who has experienced loss.
A marvelously tender memoir on suicide and loss.Pub Date: Feb. 27, 2024
ISBN: 9780374609849
Page Count: 208
Publisher: MCD/Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Review Posted Online: Sept. 19, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Nov. 1, 2023
PERSPECTIVES
PERSPECTIVES
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.
The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.
Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.
A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023
ISBN: 9781627783316
Page Count: 176
Publisher: Viva Editions
Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023
Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023
© Copyright 2024 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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