Pam Newquist's husband Walter masturbates in the shower. ""She had never caught him at it, but he spent long periods of time in the bathroom, with corresponding decreases in his sexual appetite thereafter."" Pam's got the hots for neighbor Bill Schaefer. When she and Walter go to the Schaefers' for a swim, all she can do is bat her ""pussy eyes"" at Bill and stare at his bulging penis. In this study of mores in today's suburbia, the old folks over thirty squirm over each other like worms in a Jack Daniel's bottle, while the teeners are all druggies. One kid gets shot in the face by a young cop and a community crisis erupts. A reporter thinks the kid was shot while begging forgiveness from the cop. An amazing number of wooden characters populate this wearisome survey, which seems as dusty as an old pulp novel. In the end the kids are beaten by the cops and jailed. The fault is laid at the feet of the druggies' dreary drunken parents. Not another The Detective -- excellingly dull.