A TALENT FOR MURDER

A TV legend delves into yet another murder.

Never one to ride off quietly into the sunset, Emmy-winning actress Polly Pepper has landed a gig as a judge on an appalling reality show, I’ll Do Anything to Become Famous. Her fellow judges are Brian Smith, a little-known back-up dancer, and Thane Cornwall, a Brit who makes Simon Cowell sound like Mother Theresa. The mostly untalented contestants do indeed seem willing to do anything to win, and it’s quite a surprise that when Thane is murdered, the police pass them by and arrest Lisa Marrs, handsome network president Richard Dartmouth’s secretary. As usual, Polly ignores her lover detective Randy Archer’s pleas to mind her own business and enlists her gay son Tim and her faithful maid Placenta to help her hunt down the killer. She’s piqued into still further efforts when one of the contestants turns up dead at her own lush mansion, the Pepper Plantation. Polly snoops to her heart’s content; visits Lisa in jail; and invites everyone from the show to dinner parties, all the while downing copious amounts of her favorite bubbly. Whether readers will have an equally fine old time is open to question.

Polly’s third jocular adventure (Final Curtain, 2008, etc.) will appeal to only the most diehard fans of Tinseltown trivia.