HOW TO FIND ANOTHER HUSBAND by Rusty Rothman

HOW TO FIND ANOTHER HUSBAND

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KIRKUS REVIEW

Reassuring, down-to-earth, soft-sell counsel for older women who want to remarry--and aren't daunted by the demographics or deterred by the reminder (meant as encouragement) that men ""are looking for someone to take care of them."" Rothman is a Miamian who was divoreced at 48, after preparing herself with degrees in social work, and remarried at 51, after three ""marvelous"" single years. She's a good allayer of anxieties--why divorcees shouldn't feel like losers, how to feel comfortable about hostessing or attending parties alone. She goes through the basics of looking well (new eating rules, the right blend of exercise, perfect grooming)--and living as well as you can afford (for morale, for the comfort of visiting men). How to meet prospects? Through work and personal introductions--or, Rothman now thinks, personal columns. (Acquaintances got a big, high-grade response.) Sex? ""You may feel self-conscious at first""--let him take the lead, remember that he may be anxious too, ""take advantage of the fact that older men are more potent in the morning than at night."" Rothman is cheerily specific on dating--with the aid of ""Start"" and ""Jim,"" who sometimes disagree. (Never, she insists, call a man after one date, ""no matter what the other books say."") On selecting/selectivity, she notes that people's expectations tend to be ""more realistic the second time around""; decide what you just can't stand--and what flaws you might put up with. (Alcoholics, cheapskates, and quite a few others don't rate.) For getting a commitment, timing is all-important: three-to-five years after a divorce, ""most men remarry."" But this is where all the nurturing comes in, coupled with ""interesting"" autonomy. (Don't live together.) Under Rothman's tutelage, women ready to make an effort don't have to be sophisticates or lose self-respect.

Pub Date: Feb. 15th, 1985
Publisher: Writer's Digest