A BOOK FOR GRANDMOTHERS

One cannot fault the major thrust of the author's advice to grandparents. Haven't Dr. Joyce Brothers and others been saying all along that maintaining a loving relationship with one's family takes precedence over disagreements and different viewpoints? However, one could wish Goode had also paid heed to that other newspaper seer, Paul Hightower, who tells retired people that Numero Uno comes first. Surely a satisfying grandmother-children-grandchildren relationship depends not only on Grandma's overt behavior but on her image of herself as she faces (all too often) being a financial burden, the sea-drift of retirement, the specter of old age, and even for young grandmas, a change of family status--matters which Goode touches upon only lightly. On the surface, however, the advice is sensible enough. Goode discusses how to establish contact with faraway tots, how to receive the confidences of teen-agers, what is the right time to interfere in a crisis (only after a career of not interfering), the Visit, how to give presents and money (her group seems fairly well-heeled), how to weather new methods of child care (swallow your protest), and ways of stepping in when there are special family disruptions. Revel in your ""special detachment,"" she urges. Each chapter opens with an attractive quote from a familiar author past or present. A popular inspirational item, well-meant but incomplete.