INSPIRATION PORN

A disabled gay man chronicles his journey from world-weary kid to a self-sufficient, happy, Emmy-nominated producer.

In this candid memoir, actor-writer O’Connell presents essays written with such a big, free-spirited sense of humor, it’s easy to forget that his Southern California upbringing was clouded by social anxiety and dogged efforts to hide a right-side limp from childhood cerebral palsy. He details the painful evolution of his mother from doting, responsible wife to divorced, indifferent alcoholic caught in a rehab-relapse cycle. In his 20s, O’Connell himself began drinking and abusing painkillers as a salve and a crutch to lean on when the “alcoholic soap opera that was our lives” seemed better than the reality of dealing with the aftermath of a horrific car accident, coming out, his love-hate relationship with his body, or confronting reality as a queer disabled man. After hitting rock bottom, he celebrates the fact that his 30s “have been better than I could’ve ever imagined,” with a series of triumphs including a loving relationship, hard-won sobriety, and the creation of the Emmy-winning semi-autobiographical Netflix adaptation of his memoir I’m Special, in which he also stars. O’Connell writes with zest about how his sexuality eventually blossomed while he found success as a blogger, a memoirist, an actor, and a lover, as evidenced in explicit chapters detailing his liberative sex life inside and outside the borders of his open, long-term relationship with Jonathan. Encouraging readers to “think outside the little box society has constructed for you,” the memoir offers an opportunity to finally tell his tale of queer joy borne from years of struggle, addiction, and disability anxieties. O’Connell has clearly been through the wringer, but he delivers his troubled life story with the deep exhale of resiliency—and in the most humorous ways possible.

An effervescent success story from a disabled queer man who found self-love and acceptance.