UNDEAD AND UNWED

After a case of mistaken identity leads her to inherit a rundown Vermont inn, a lonely vampire struggles to adjust to small-town living.

Tiffenie Ruba has been trying to live under the radar as a vampire for the last 300 years, but maintaining the secret has led to some serious loneliness. Borrowing an identity from a human who shares her name—Tiffany Blair—she moves between a job at a blood bank and the LA apartment she shares with her cat. With nothing but eternity ahead of her, though, Tiffenie’s secretly longing for a more Hallmark-movie lifestyle. When she learns that the real Tiffany has inherited a Vermont inn, she seizes the opportunity to start over. Unfortunately, she’s bringing her own baggage on this unexpected road trip, chiefly a neighbor she sort of accidentally turned into a vampire, too. Settling in isn’t the cozy experience Tiffenie envisioned, since the inn is days away from being condemned and she’s forced to keep pretending to be someone she isn’t in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. At least there’s a deeply attractive Christmas tree farmer named Tyrone who seems genuinely interested in her, but the situation is made complicated when Tiffenie’s ex-boyfriend Vlad, the vampire who made her, decides to pay a visit—and his presence is a reminder of everything that used to be good about their relationship. Tschida’s latest is billed as a rom-com, but the romance takes a backseat to the comedy, in large part because Tiffenie’s quirky inner narration is so strong. The novel has all the makings of the Hallmark holiday love story Tiffenie longs for, but with limited space afforded to all sides of the relationship triangle that emerges—especially as even more characters and hijinks start to occupy the narrative—it’s hard to fully buy into her ultimate choice. More time spent building to that happily-ever-after would have given the ending more weight and significance.

This witty, unconventional small-town story could use a bit of renovation.