MEAN BABY

An acclaimed actor reflects on her life, film career, and diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2018.

Born outside of Detroit in 1972, Blair earned the nickname “mean baby” for the “judgmental, scrutinizing” expression she wore on her face from the day she was born. In fact, she was a “sensitive soul” who felt judged by others—in particular, her demanding, sometimes-cruel mother. At 7, Blair developed a taste for alcohol at a family Passover celebration and drank in secret after that, reveling in the feeling of “safety” alcohol gave her. She also suffered awful abuse. “I have been raped, multiple times,” she writes, “because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ ” A troubled teen, she continued to take refuge in drinking but also discovered a passion for literature and drama. After a suicide attempt in college, Blair found her footing in acting. She moved to New York City, where, after a year of struggle, she found an agent and landed her first movie role. Drinking and toxic relationships took their tolls, and she entered rehab in Michigan before moving to Los Angeles. An unexpected invitation to play a role in the 1999 film Cruel Intentions brought her fame. However, the binge-drinking continued, as did a series of unhealthy relationships (one of which turned into a short-lived marriage) and mysterious pains that racked her body. “I could feel it growing and spreading,” she writes, “but I had no idea what it was.” Single motherhood helped her curb drinking, but her fatigue and neuralgia intensified. A lifelong spiritual seeker who sought out psychics to help her make sense of her life, Blair finally received an answer to explain the physical roots of her pain: multiple sclerosis. Though the narrative occasionally meanders, the author offers a sharp, memorable account of her roles as celebrity and MS advocate that will have wide appeal to both fans and general readers alike.

A moving and eloquent memoir.