OLD HAM

A lonely middle-aged hoarder discovers that her high school crush is attending her AA meetings in Glass’ thriller.

Junie Oldham—nicknamed “Old Ham” back in high school—lives in squalor and knits cat hats that she sells online. She also works in cybersecurity at a local company, where co-workers snicker at her stringy hair and odd outfits, and where she steals their lunches from the refrigerator. Well, don’t leave food in the fridge without your name on it; otherwise it’s fair game, she reckons. Though she’s a teetotaler, Junie attends weekly AA meetings because it’s the one place where people are kind to her. One day, Blake Patton, her high school obsession, shows up. Not only does he not recognize her (different hair style, weight gain); he also doesn’t see her steal his phone, which he leaves unlocked. Junie sees photos of Blake’s wife, their McMansion, their daughter Cece. She accesses his finances and reads his texts, and later uses an app on Blake’s phone to unlock his back door and turn off his security alarm. She eats leftover birthday cake from his fridge—“It’s vanilla. Boring, but that tracks”—and realizes that she wants to share that boring, vanilla life with him. If her plan to get Blake to love her and regret rejecting her in high school fails, Junie will “have to move on to plan B and ruin his life.” No surprise, it’s plan B. Fans of the book and movie Misery (1990) and the miniseries Baby Reindeer (2024) are among those who will enjoy this book, which never lets up on Junie’s obsession and her unwavering self-confidence that runs counter to what others think of her. Glass has created a memorable train-wreck character: pathetic and horrifying, but one who can’t be ignored. Bonus: It’s a fast read with a great ending.

Cringy, amusing, terrifying. The complete package.