THE MOTHER VINE

A debut author shares her revelatory experiences with ayahuasca in this memoir.

When Nering went on her first ayahuasca retreat, she felt uneasy as a 50-year-old woman partaking in a therapeutic ritual alongside those with “real trauma.” A former TV host for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and producer of internationally syndicated reality TV shows, the author seemingly led a charmed existence. She and her husband, Josh, had a solid marriage, were in good health, and lived comfortably with two kids and a dog. Yet, beneath the surface of her “supposedly perfect life” (which Nering details in a nonchronological narrative that jumps across multiple timelines), not all was well. The author focuses on ayahuasca’s role in awakening her to her newfound freedom and spirituality as well as a mystical connection to herself and nature. She also offers poignant reflections on the social expectations of women as mothers and wives; she offers candid observations about her sex life with Josh as well as the constant juggling of kids’ schedules and family routines that inevitably falls on mothers. The author’s quest for freedom and a lifestyle that would transcend Western materialism led her to try ayahuasca and relocate her family to the Hawaiian island of Kauai. There, she reconnected with swimming, the passion of her childhood, and she offers readers an intriguing glimpse into the subculture of Pacific surfing. Writing in a conversational style, Nering recounts autobiographical episodes and offers dreamlike explorations of her ayahuasca-fueled visions. She describes her revelations in detailed recollections that are rich in metaphor. “When used properly,” she asserts, ayahuasca “is not escapism—it is revelation.” A profoundly honest storyteller, Nering is careful not to mythologize her midlife “grand adventure” as she describes the logistical challenges of living on a remote island. The intimate text is supplemented by multiple pages of questions for group discussion and personal reflection, as well as a preview of Nering’s sequel to this memoir, which ends in 2021.

A deeply personal story of ayahuasca’s transformative role in one woman’s life.