All But Normal

A pastor examines his childhood living with a disabled parent.

The author’s mother, Beverly “Bev” Mae Thornton, grew up in a modest family in Indiana. Warm, charismatic, and smart, she began, at age 16, to go out with John Thornton, a wealthier boy with a new Corvair. One night, they were in a terrible traffic accident, which would mark the rest of their lives with unanswered questions. Thornton, with co-author Kilpatrick, re-creates this time as if Thornton was actually there for his future mother’s painstaking recovery. She was left with limited motor skills and had violent mood swings that left her “groveling painfully on the floor” before her sisters. Racked with guilt, John slowly pushed his way back into her life and toward a shared future that perhaps they never really wanted, Thornton writes. All this carefully lays the groundwork for the story of his own experiences with his mother, primarily during his middle school years. He had a loving home life, but his mother’s disabilities also made it tumultuous, and he renders it all with the complexity it deserves. There are no easy answers to the difficulties surrounding disabilities, and Thornton and Kilpatrick reinforce that idea with each new story of embarrassment or, sometimes, terror. Well-balanced narration shows how the young Thornton slowly came to understand just how disheveled and odd their house was, particularly as his mother’s rage and erratic behavior intensified, he says, to include flying plates and threats with scissors. These moments are matched with equal instances of support, tenderness, and humor that help make Thornton’s home feel relatable; it also plays well into the narrative’s overall goal as a Christian testimony of faith. Although the author says that living with his mother brought constant surprises, he also writes, “It never struck me as strange that the woman holding scissors over us...was also my greatest example of what it means to live and love like Jesus.”

A religious debut memoir that carefully brings an engaging, complex family to life.