WORSE THAN DEATH

A sex-heavy vampire thriller with an L.A.-noir detective-story framework and a triple dose of cunnilingus, fellatio, and nipple pinching that actually drives the plot. In 1994’s Love Bite (not reviewed), L.A. homicide dick Jace Levy fell in love with Risha, a 50-year-old vampire who looks 30 and, since his retirement from the force after 20 years of service, has taken up residence with her. She sleeps all day, has extensible fangs, does not show up in mirrors, has eternal life, and so on. Will Jace ever join her? Well, unbeknownst to Risha, Jace has Huntington’s chorea, and his growing mental lapses and physical collapses worry him deeply. Meanwhile, as a p.i., he’s taken on a new client: Robert Brandon, whose Right Path Films trade on high morality, and who is being blackmailed for some naughty videos he made with actresses auditioning for his new releases. Amusingly, these videos are based on scenes from famous films—Rhett taking Scarlett up the big staircase to rape her, Rick and Ilsa getting down to the bare facts when he won—t hand over the letters of transit, Charlie Alnutt busting Rosie’s hymen on The African Queen. The most original turn comes when Jace at last induces Risha to take him into her world, even though he hasn—t told her about his fatal illness and doesn—t know what effect his blood might have on her. Nor does he know that the life of the undead will drain not only his morals about murdering for his food but also his sexual potency. The idea of eternal life without the full use of the penis is unbearable. Probably the kickoff for a vampire series for Gottlieb—a series whose main claim to distinction amid the forests of California Gothic is likely to be those film parodies.