A fresh look at age differences between romantic partners.
A debut author turns the cougar stereotype on its head.
Older women who pursue relationships with younger men are usually known as cougars, but Lynne doesn’t favor the term. A cougar, she says, is “a hunter, a ravenous predator of young, twenty to thirty something, gorgeous men.” These women exist, but there’s also another category that she dubs M.A.R.E.S., or “mature, attractive, respectable, experienced and even-tempered, single, professional, extraordinary ladies.” (Yes, it’s a mouthful.) These 40-plus women don’t stalk young prey but remain open to a relationship with a “developing man.” Lynne counts herself among this group, and her book explores the characteristics of a M.A.R.E., the attributes she seeks in a mate, and the ground rules for her behavior. Among the last is a strict prohibition against pursuing attached guys and a focus on always acting like a lady. The emphasis is never on sexual conquest but rather on being open to fulfilling relationships with men no matter their ages. What Lynne has written isn’t a simple dating guide. Rather than tips on how to meet members of the opposite sex, the volume offers the author’s thoughts on how women can become comfortable and confident in their own skins. She argues that assured and appealing women who transform themselves into M.A.R.E.S. will attract men almost without effort, especially guys looking for the experience and maturity older women possess. While Lynne extols the virtues of age gaps in relationships, her view of the male-female dynamic is otherwise traditional. Women should take care to remain feminine and to not be too controlling, she urges, since “men do not respond positively to demanding, attention-seeking women. A man desires a lady who makes them feel manly and proud. ” Many of Lynne’s insights are delivered in the form of anecdotes involving herself or her friends. Sometimes these tales ramble a bit, but they largely get their points across. Throughout, she persuasively makes the case that it’s time for society to rethink its raised-eyebrow reaction to these May-December relationships.
A fresh look at age differences between romantic partners.Pub Date: Feb. 16, 2017
ISBN: 978-1-5320-1098-9
Page Count: 180
Publisher: iUniverse
Review Posted Online: July 9, 2017
Review Program: Kirkus Indie
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.
A teacher and scholar of Buddhism offers a formally varied account of the available rewards of solitude.
“As Mother Ayahuasca takes me in her arms, I realize that last night I vomited up my attachment to Buddhism. In passing out, I died. In coming to, I was, so to speak, reborn. I no longer have to fight these battles, I repeat to myself. I am no longer a combatant in the dharma wars. It feels as if the course of my life has shifted onto another vector, like a train shunted off its familiar track onto a new trajectory.” Readers of Batchelor’s previous books (Secular Buddhism: Imagining the Dharma in an Uncertain World, 2017, etc.) will recognize in this passage the culmination of his decadeslong shift away from the religious commitments of Buddhism toward an ecumenical and homegrown philosophy of life. Writing in a variety of modes—memoir, history, collage, essay, biography, and meditation instruction—the author doesn’t argue for his approach to solitude as much as offer it for contemplation. Essentially, Batchelor implies that if you read what Buddha said here and what Montaigne said there, and if you consider something the author has noticed, and if you reflect on your own experience, you have the possibility to improve the quality of your life. For introspective readers, it’s easy to hear in this approach a direct response to Pascal’s claim that “all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Batchelor wants to relieve us of this inability by offering his example of how to do just that. “Solitude is an art. Mental training is needed to refine and stabilize it,” he writes. “When you practice solitude, you dedicate yourself to the care of the soul.” Whatever a soul is, the author goes a long way toward soothing it.
A very welcome instance of philosophy that can help readers live a good life.Pub Date: Feb. 18, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-300-25093-0
Page Count: 200
Publisher: Yale Univ.
Review Posted Online: Nov. 24, 2019
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 15, 2019
BOOK REVIEW
A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran.
Lessons about life from those preparing to die.
A longtime hospice chaplain, Egan (Fumbling: A Pilgrimage Tale of Love, Grief, and Spiritual Renewal on the Camino de Santiago, 2004) shares what she has learned through the stories of those nearing death. She notices that for every life, there are shared stories of heartbreak, pain, guilt, fear, and regret. “Every one of us will go through things that destroy our inner compass and pull meaning out from under us,” she writes. “Everyone who does not die young will go through some sort of spiritual crisis.” The author is also straightforward in noting that through her experiences with the brokenness of others, and in trying to assist in that brokenness, she has found healing for herself. Several years ago, during a C-section, Egan suffered a bad reaction to the anesthesia, leading to months of psychotic disorders and years of recovery. The experience left her with tremendous emotional pain and latent feelings of shame, regret, and anger. However, with each patient she helped, the author found herself better understanding her own past. Despite her role as a chaplain, Egan notes that she rarely discussed God or religious subjects with her patients. Mainly, when people could talk at all, they discussed their families, “because that is how we talk about God. That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives.” It is through families, Egan began to realize, that “we find meaning, and this is where our purpose becomes clear.” The author’s anecdotes are often thought-provoking combinations of sublime humor and tragic pathos. She is not afraid to point out times where she made mistakes, even downright failures, in the course of her work. However, the nature of her work means “living in the gray,” where right and wrong answers are often hard to identify.
A moving, heartfelt account of a hospice veteran.Pub Date: Oct. 25, 2016
ISBN: 978-1-59463-481-9
Page Count: 224
Publisher: Riverhead
Review Posted Online: Aug. 2, 2016
Kirkus Reviews Issue: Aug. 15, 2016
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