All about women who can't resolve conflicts on a variety of levels-marriage, work, children--this purports to show them how to get from conflict and confusion to resolution, all done in breathy, soap-opera gush. Psychologist and radio-advice-giver Friedman's thesis is that if women recognize they have choices and then learn how to make them, they can become the ""smart cookies"" of the title and, naturally, won't ""crumble"" in tough times. She bases this approach on case histories from her practice. Her method is to exhort and cajole the reader to get untrapped, move, think, and start making decisions. One of the big traps is fear of success and failure, or as she puts it, ""I'm too old, it's too late, and I probably can't do it anyway."" Women can shuck this ""cloak of inferiority"" by learning how to take criticism, stop blaming others, establish a personal purpose, and give up the past. Also offered are suggestions on how to: survive a divorce, establish an intimate relationship while maintaining a personal identity, and express sexuality both within and without marriage."" Don't get bitter, get better,"" she sloganeers, airily pushing self-assertion, done, she adds, in ""a gentle but firm way. Assertion and aggression are not identical."" Too often the tone of ""Cookies"" borders on locker-room pep talk, the watchword being ""go for it!"" And love lives frequently seem the center from which all else flows. Catchy title, but really stale crackers.